I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
