I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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