I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
