I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
