After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
