The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize