how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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