I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
