i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize