just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh god it's open bar.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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