it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
