yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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