Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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