This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
