But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
