that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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