I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
