We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
