You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
