dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
