I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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