can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
