I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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