I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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