and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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