No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
