You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
