Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
