I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
