Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
