She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
