You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
