okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When did angry sex become our thing?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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