Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
