kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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