i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
