I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
