I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
