I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
