You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
