i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
