I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
