So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
