I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
