we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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