'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sarcasm needs its own font
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
