Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have aggressive nipples.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize