Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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