worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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