well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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