We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
