so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
