I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is the high leading the old right now
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
