youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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