i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
