I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
A bitchslap is in order.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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