were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
