its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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