Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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