god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
