He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Pooping to opera.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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