What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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