We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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