Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
