Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
