We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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