he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
